meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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