CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
