You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
