Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
