This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize