is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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