My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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