the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
