so explain again why im purple
no
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
