So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
