singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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