awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
