No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
