Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
