She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
