They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
