My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
