Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
