Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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