Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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