i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
