I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
