were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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