Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Randomize
