I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
