WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize