I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
