Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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