I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
