Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
