he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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