You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was born a porn star she said
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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