you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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