Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
