shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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