so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
