So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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