So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
