On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
