I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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