Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
