it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
