haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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