I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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