FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize