How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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