Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I AM VODKA MAN
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
