happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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