I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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