YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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