My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
