There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
