Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
