Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
