y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
