I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
its not stalking. its research.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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