we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
