thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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