You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
