i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
