I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
