So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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