It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
