I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
