he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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