I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
