if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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