Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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