sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
